I was skeptical about the idea of getting married. In 2019, according to CDC data, around 40% of marriages in the United States ended in divorce. “If you were going skydiving, and they told you 40% of parachutes were not going to open,” comedian Bill Burr said, “I’m not going. I don’t like those odds.” Why invest in something with a 40% failure rate?
I used to have these views on marriage. But after dating Mary for 7 years, living in an apartment together, getting through college together, getting a dog together, buying a car together, and planning children together, we decided to get married.
I realized I’m a better person with Mary. Mary challenges me and pushes me to improve myself. She calls me out if I’m thinking about something the wrong the way. If it wasn’t for Mary, I would probably still be scrambling to figure out how to pay for college. I might not have considered software engineering as a career path. Mary’s companionship helped springboard my education and career.
It goes both ways too. Now that I’m working as a software engineer, Mary had the opportunity to quit her W-2 income job and explore entrepreneurship. I helped her develop her tech startup, Geofyi.com. If it wasn’t for me, she would’ve had to learn web development or hire someone who did, both of which cost time and money.
All of this is to say we got married because we’re better off together than on our own.
So, is marriage a good idea? I think so—with the right person. Even if 40% of marriages end in divorce, that doesn’t mean your marriage’s success is a coin flip. You get to decide who you’re going to marry. Unless it goes against your religious beliefs, I recommend living—under the same roof—with the person you intend to marry. Don’t rush into it. Get to know each other’s idiosyncrasies. If you can accept each other at your highest highs and lowest lows, you’ll maximize your chances of success with the person you love.